Monday, April 26, 2010

Dreams (both goals and nightly images)

I could be writing an outline, or working on my story, but instead I feel the need to click on the little orange icon and write a blog.
There really is no point to this other to say that my life is awesome.
Since my diagnosis I feel like I've experienced every hardship that a girl with body image issues could possibly go through. Now that's it's come full circle and I find myself happy and feeling AMAZING about myself, I wish to help others who are finding themselves in a difficult position with body image, eating disorders or have a poor relationships with food. Maybe I'll write a book about it in hopes that it can help people with similar problem.

Did you ever have an imaginary friend? I know that my mind as a child was to preoccupied with Barbi or American Girl Dolls to create such a figure, but I think that they can be just the thing a kid needs some times. Last night I had this dream, I won't disclose what that dream was about, but it left me smiling in the morning. It wasn't necessarily a happy dream, and it certainly wasn't something I usually fantasise in my day-to-day day dreams, but this dream sparked almost an imaginary friend in me. This sounds crazy, I know, a twenty year old with an imaginary friend? Insane and rightfully so. But this character isn't really even a person, and I'm not pretending that he is currently sitting at my desk while I type this from my bed. No, I would say that my pretend companion is an idea, or intimate spark. This idea floats around my head all day; it's more of a comforting thought, that is far from reality, but still nice to think about.
Okay, label me insane if you want to. It doesn't matter, because I am the only one who can understand the compassion I feel towards something so simple as a thought.

*Why do the dreams that haunt me fill my hear with so much joy? Guilty I be not of unloyalty in reality, but hidden in the secrets of my mind.

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