Tuesday, May 25, 2010

My Wish

Wishes, I never really believed in them yet I still took every oppurtunity I was presented with to wish and hope for something better. Every candle I blew out on birthdays, every shooting star that crossed the nights sky, every time I managed to hold my breath through a long tunnel, every time I saw a lone star and every time the clock read 11:11 I was wishing for one thing. My wish was always the same. I didn't wish for a prince charming, or a bounteous fortune, I wished for happiness. Whatever I thought would make me happy I wished for. I spent my younger years wishing for thinness, believe that that would make me happy. But it failed. Once I was thin I was miserable. After I broke into craziness I wished for sanity, but sanity just lead to less sanity and unfortunate weight gain. By then I was through, done with wishing. I had little hope that anything but myself could turn my life around. I worked my ass off to create a better version of myself, but that failed just as hard as anything else I tried. When nothing was working I tried once more to wish. Not for thinness, not for sanity, not for beauty, but for life. I wished for the ability to live the life that I want to live. I sought out medical help and discovered that my early heavier weight wasn't my fault, my anorexia (well that was my fault), but the weight gain after that was completely out of my control. I was given a diagnosis and a prescription.

My wish came true with the help of an amazing team of doctors and some magic medication, and now I LOVE my life.

Today I went to refill my pills for the first time and the total came to $11:11.
Something tells me now that the dreams that you wish will come true.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Momentary lapse

Before you worry about me, I'm fine. I am not angry at the world, and am still on cloud nine when it comes to nearly every aspect of my life. But for some reason I am experiencing a new emotion, bitterness. Now, I have been jealous before, and I have been angry before but this odd sensation isn't either. The only way to describe it is bitter, and my rational self knows that it's not even worthy of getting upset about. So with that said I am not even going to tell you why I'm bitter. Just that I am.

Anyway, I have also made another decision that will hopefully improve my literary career. Not only will it help me establish myself as a writer but it will end a personal vendetta I have against... well, myself.

Well that's really all I have to say for myself. Life is going great, minus the fact that I only have about $18 in my bank account, but otherwise amazing.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Sexy Drink

This morning, after walking all the way across campus just to discover that my class was canceled, I decided to venture to the school's coffee shop instead of walking down the hill and then back up an hour later. I ordered my favorite drink, large passion unsweetened ice tea with the tea bag left in. I sat there drinking my rose colored drink, and reading Ruby Fruit Jungle by Rita May Brown. As I progress through this book I'm discovering that it becomes more and more sexual as the page numbers go up. While reading this very provocative scene I became very aware that I was drinking a sexy drink. Suddenly I felt like I was exposing my erotic literature to the entire coffee shop all by sipping on my red/pink drink. Clearly that wasn't the case, and I was only about 3 pages into the next chapter when a girl who I used to be very close with in high school came over and we caught up while waiting for our 10 o'clock class to come around.

That's all for right now. When I first started writing this I had the 'Drink' in the title be plural and I was going to give reasons as to what other drinks I find sexy and why, but I am going to let you toy with that idea and maybe one day I'll actually write the rest, with the 's'.