Tuesday, May 25, 2010

My Wish

Wishes, I never really believed in them yet I still took every oppurtunity I was presented with to wish and hope for something better. Every candle I blew out on birthdays, every shooting star that crossed the nights sky, every time I managed to hold my breath through a long tunnel, every time I saw a lone star and every time the clock read 11:11 I was wishing for one thing. My wish was always the same. I didn't wish for a prince charming, or a bounteous fortune, I wished for happiness. Whatever I thought would make me happy I wished for. I spent my younger years wishing for thinness, believe that that would make me happy. But it failed. Once I was thin I was miserable. After I broke into craziness I wished for sanity, but sanity just lead to less sanity and unfortunate weight gain. By then I was through, done with wishing. I had little hope that anything but myself could turn my life around. I worked my ass off to create a better version of myself, but that failed just as hard as anything else I tried. When nothing was working I tried once more to wish. Not for thinness, not for sanity, not for beauty, but for life. I wished for the ability to live the life that I want to live. I sought out medical help and discovered that my early heavier weight wasn't my fault, my anorexia (well that was my fault), but the weight gain after that was completely out of my control. I was given a diagnosis and a prescription.

My wish came true with the help of an amazing team of doctors and some magic medication, and now I LOVE my life.

Today I went to refill my pills for the first time and the total came to $11:11.
Something tells me now that the dreams that you wish will come true.

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