Tuesday, October 27, 2009


"The children were nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of sugar plums danced in their heads."

Not quite the case of the other night. As I lay in my bed I awoke with a fright, except it wasn't Santa Claus who woke me up. Despite going to bed shivering I woke up from a dream drenched in sweat. Not the kind of perspiration you get when it's hot outside, I'm talking band camp sweat. And for all of you who didn't do band or didn't go to Hudson. Your sweat looks like somebody dumped a bottle of water on you.

So the dream I was in was rather personal. It had a 'somewhat of an ex boyfriend' in it and tortured me deeply. I was burning up in my bed and had to get out, but when I touched my arms they were cold. It was as if somebody had forced me to swallow one of those hand warmer things and that the heat couldn't penetrate into my skin. My body was freezing yet I was burning. Never have I ever felt a sensation that could compare to such.

Upon standing I felt sick to my stomach. I made it to my bathroom and just stood there, thinking about the dream. A few minutes past before I realized that I wasn't going to be sick and that it would be in my best interest to go back to bed. My will power was tested when I attempted to move on from the dream and think about something else but it kept on slipping back into my frame of mind.

The lids of my eyes got heavier and heavier as I fell back asleep. I slipped into the same dream, except this time it was lucid. I know that some people do not believe in the concept of lucid dreams, but as a person who has them frequently I certainly do.

Now having some control of your dream may sound fun and thrilling, but don't get to hasty. For one thing there have been studies that show that there are different types of lucid dreams and that each one deals with the amount of control that the person has. In this dream I could control everything except for the other people. I could put us in one place and move us to another in an instant. One moment we're in Beijing and the next were in a park. The dream continued, and I continued to do all that I could to make my wildest dreams come true... in a dream.

The boy that had haunted my other dream was passionately kissing me, it was like nothing was ever wrong, like our relationship was one of those perfect ones you read about in classic romance novels. But only a few seconds later he was leaving me, telling me he wasn't interested. Hurting me the same way he had hurt me all that time ago. I was crushed, I was burning. Once again I could tell that my actual body was hot again. I was tired of this dream and a fear came rushing in that I wouldn't be able to wake myself up, and that hopefully it was only a matter of time before the obnoxious noise from my alarm clock would shake me from this nightmare.While waiting for my savior I went and sat in a river (yeah I know, who sits in a river?) but I think it cooled me down. I was no longer on fire.

Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours" finally came on and I was awake. What happened last night? I thought to myself. It took me a few moments to finally realize that everything was okay. That even though that boy had hurt me almost a year and a half ago that I was over it and in a loving relationship with someone so much better. But I was still in shock. It took a while for me to recount all of the events that happened that night and to actually grasp the fact that none of it was real except for the waking, burning moments and the sensation I couldn't describe.

No comments:

Post a Comment