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I am currently sitting in my unofficial new room with my awesome new roommate, listening to Christmas music despite the time of year. Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas is playing and all I can think about is him. It's been a long time since he has entered my life and throughout our history I always pined for more. More attention, more space, more communication, more time, more hugs, more phone calls, more visits, more HIM! We've been in each others lives for so long and I'm not sure if more will ever happen.

My last relationship (as wonderful and amazing and spectacular as it was) started because I needed to move on from him and learn to be happy. And now that relationship has ended because (along with other various reasons) I never did get over him. He will forever torment my mind until I can have more, or at least closure.

So to you, him, he. I want you to know that you mean the world to me. I would give anything to have more of you. You may never read this and I may never have more, but you are my love. For all the pain we've put each other through, it's all been worth it... at least for me.